Trying to cope, but failing…

After Mom “healed” and was able to get out of her back brace, she found a job as a cashier at a local grocery store.  She wasn’t making the kind of money that she did before, but at least she could keep a roof over our heads.

After her boyfriend kicked us out due to her injury, we had to move into public housing (“the projects”).

This was an interesting transition.  We had gone from being “flush to broke” very quickly.  We were also moved into the worst part of the projects.  Our neighbors were in the crime beat daily.  Drug dealers lived next door and a man that frequently beat his wife.  There were other fist fights that happened outside our door quite often as well.

At 14-15 years old, this was a lot to take in.


This is an on-going story of my life and some of the childhood adversities that I faced.  If you would like to start at the beginning of my tale, please read Four-year-old and Mother Survive Bludgeoning by River Rock, or go to the Childhood category and start at the bottom.


 

My mother’s depression got worse after she had lost almost everything.  She stayed in a lot of pain trying to work and being on her feet all day.  She eventually had to quit her job.  She filed for disability.  Anyone who has been through this process knows it takes quite awhile to get approved.

By now, we were living on welfare and food stamps.  Mom started to drink quite heavily and officially turned into a drunk.

She was drunk by the time that I left for school in the mornings at 7:30 am most times.

She didn’t wake me up for school, she didn’t prepare me breakfast or pack my lunches anymore.  She actually encouraged me to just stay home with her.  She hated it when I went to school.

I never missed school and had mostly made straight As.  No one motivating me, but even at 15, I knew that I wanted so much more for my life.  I knew that I would never live this way unless it was beyond my control, I knew that I would become more!

This internal motivation kept me moving forward through the rough patches of which there were many!


To read the next phase of my story click this link to Benefactors.

Please tell me your thoughts!

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