Did you have that one weird uncle? Well, mine was a great uncle. At one of the many time I was staying with my grandparents, he was also staying there.
He seemed really cool at first, his name was Willy. I was around 11 or 12, and he used to want to play tag which ended up in wrestling and tickling in the end.
At the time, I still had my sense of childhood naivety, but this would soon be lost.
Willy would go to the store and bring me back candy bars, then want to “play”. After this went on for a little while, I started to notice the grabbing and groping that seemed to be a part of the “catching you phase”. I was young, and again naive, so at first I thought I was thinking too much into it, that these times he seemed to be getting “handsy” were merely accidental.
As the frequency of these times increased, I no longer thought they were an accident. I began telling him that I didn’t want to play and refusing his candy bars. (Were these some sort of bribe for my silence? With what he was doing, I didn’t want anything from him.)
He didn’t like that. My grandmother scolded me for hurting his feelings. She told me to be nice to him, so I tried to fake the smiles. I didn’t know what to do. How was I going to tell her that her brother was not treating me appropriately? Of course, my mother was nowhere to be found, so I didn’t say anything. What if I was mistaken? It would soon be made very clear that I was not.
This is an on-going story of my life and some of the childhood adversities that I faced. If you would like to start at the beginning of my tale, please read Four-year-old and Mother Survive Bludgeoning by River Rock, or go to the Childhood category and start at the bottom.
While I was staying there, I was sleeping on the couch. He came in late one night after all of this had happened, so it was just the two of us in the living room, my grandparents had already gone to bed. I was frightened. I didn’t know how he was going to act, so I pretended to be asleep (of course being quite the hyper-vigilant child any small noise wakes me up even to this day).
He kept trying to talk to me. Calling my name over and over, and I kept faking sleep. He started to get angry.
My uncle started speaking to me in the nastiest tone imaginable saying how I didn’t need to pretend to be asleep that he didn’t even want to grab my chest and crotch (much harsher words). He said did I think I was hot stuff or something, he could find plenty of women to let him do more than just grab them.
This went on for at least 10 minutes while I laid there stock still with my back to him and tears running down my face.
Did he not realize or care that he was speaking to his young niece? It was humiliating and disgusting listening to his tirade.
I wonder if I should have jumped up and started defending myself against his nasty, disgusting taunts??
My aunt recently told me that my grandmother was a very light sleeper, so how did his raised voice not wake her up when we were just in a small trailer? A worse thought is that she did wake her up but not come to my aid?
I never told anyone about this until years later. They all asked why I wouldn’t have anything to do with that uncle anymore, but I never told anyone…
Until many years later when my much younger cousin made these same claims. Then I told my other cousins that she was not lying and that it had also happened to me.
Please read the next phase of my story: A Young Girl’s Most Precious Possession