Dear Diary…

In my last post, you met Chad.  My mother’s friend’s son who was hopelessly in love with me.  He was a sweet guy.  He did not, however, have the ambition for the life I wanted, nor was I attracted to him.

Never-the-less, I liked Chad as a friend and had to put up with him daily, as he was sleeping on my bedroom floor.

I had dated a guy for a few weeks toward the end of the school year,  before heading to my father’s for the Summer.  A young, budding romance that went cold due to distance (a 9-hour drive away) and time.

When I returned two months later I expected to pick up where we had left off.   We wrote a few letters-(this was before the email and Internet age) and talked on the phone a few times (this was still the age of long distance telephone calls), and I thought all was well.

When I returned, I found out that he had found someone else to spend time with while I was away.

It was short-lived, but at 15 it seemed like the biggest broken heart of my life.  I pined for what would never be and moped around heartbroken and pitiful.


This is an on-going story of my life and some of the childhood adversities that I faced.  If you would like to start at the beginning of my tale, please read Four-year-old and Mother Survive Bludgeoning by River Rock, or go to the Childhood category and start at the bottom.

At about this time, Chad was still sleeping on my floor.  He was so jealous and angry that this guy had “broken my heart” and always said that he’d tear him apart if he ever found him.

One day I came home to find my beautiful pink diary, that my Aunt had bought me, ripped out of its little-locked box on the top of my dresser.  It was rummaged through and read.

I knew Chad had done it and I was furious and mortified that he read my private thoughts!!!  He was at work that day, and when he came home I was ready to have it out.

I screamed at him for invading my privacy and destroying my property.  I threw in his face that it was all because he was jealous that I wasn’t writing about him.

He laughed, practically cackled, and asked me to if the guy’s dad was a preacher.  Confused, I sad yes and asked why?  He said he started working with me today.  I warned him that if he was who I thought he was that he had an a$$ whopping coming.

Reading my diary had done nothing but make Chad even angrier that he had hurt me.  He was practically in a rage, and I knew that he planned to make good on his promise.

I told Chad to leave the guy alone, that it would do no good at all.  Again he laughed and couldn’t wait to go to work the next day.

The guy never showed back up to work there.  He knew Chad meant every word that he said, and he was afraid.  Chad was known around town for being a really good fighter.  He whipped many guys when he felt the need too.

The whole incident only infuriated me even further.  Not only did I have to have this Neanderthal sleeping in my bedroom without my consent, but I couldn’t even have privacy in my own home!  Chad might have meant well, but his way of going about things was all wrong.  Many of us have felt or dealt with something incorrectly in our past.  I know I have.  I just wish I was mature enough at the time to cut Chad a little slack for trying to be my protector.

That guy, who “broke my heart” and didn’t come back to that job, he ended up marrying that girl that he was spending time with.  They are still together 27 years later, so it was all part of God’s great big plan!

Read my next story here: Beware of Strangers

Please tell me your thoughts!

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